To the Mom Who’s Lonely: You’re Not Alone

To the Mom Who’s Lonely: You’re Not Alone

I’ve been realizing lately that I’ve become lonely. Lonelier than I’ve ever been in the past. It’s not really a place I ever thought I’d be. I’ve always had friends, lots of them. All through high school, college, and my mid-twenties I was always hanging out with friends and always had someone to talk to. But I’ve realized as I’ve gotten married and entered my late twenties, early thirties, and getting close to 34, I don’t have those friends anymore. I’ve become a mom who’s lonely.

I rarely get together with friends and hang out and have fun anymore. Heck, I’m not sure I really even have friends anymore. No one to talk to outside of my husband/family, no one to do life with, laugh with, cry with, no one who “get’s” it. And it’s a lonely place to be.

This has been a hard realization for me and it’s not easy to admit and write about. But I’m trying to be more vulnerable, more open. And if I’m feeling this way, I am sure there are other women feeling lonely, too. So if that’s you, if you’re a mom who’s lonely right now, know that you’re not alone.

To the Mom Who's Lonely: You're Not Alone - acolorfulyou.net

How did I get here, to this place of loneliness?

That’s kind of hard to say. It crept up on me and I didn’t really realize it was happening until I was here. I was one of the last of my friends group to get married, and am one of the last to start a family (currently pregnant with my first). Many, if not most of my friends already have at least one kid. Most of them have multiple kids – 2, 3, or even 4 now. I think that as they got married and started their families while I was still single, it was hard to keep up the relationship and it got harder and harder to connect with them. They had other priorities, as well they should, and time to hang out with friends became scarce.

Then when I got married, I kind of felt like I was in this in-between stage, where a few of my friends were still single, and most of the others had kids. I kind of felt like I didn’t really belong anywhere, not really. It was kind of an awkward stage for me and made it hard to connect. Now that I’m finally starting a family of my own, I’m realizing that I don’t have any friends now, not really. And it’s a lonely place to be.

Read Seasons of Change in Life and Business

So what can we do about it, when we find ourselves in this lonely place?

Remind yourself that it’s a season. It’s not forever, at least it doesn’t have to be. We all go through seasons in life, and some are harder than others. I’d even guess that most people have had seasons in their life where they felt a similar loneliness. Just because we’re feeling lonely right now and don’t have friends to connect with, doesn’t mean it will always be this way. Seasons change. They come and go. This one will too.

Pick up the phone and call someone. Or text if that’s more your thing. I know that I didn’t get to this place solely because of other people, I had a part in it too. I could have picked up the phone and called or texted my girlfriends and tried harder to keep in touch. Now, I’m not saying it’s all my fault or letting myself feel guilty about it. It happens. It’s life; it is what it is. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, I can do something about it. I can call up a girlfriend and make a plan to get together.

Do something fun. Get out of the house and go do something fun. If you’re anything like me, you’re realizing that you haven’t really had fun lately. So go enjoy life again! We need to stop staying at home and feeling sorry for ourselves. There’s so much life that can be lived. When’s the last time you did something just for fun?

Get connected. If you’ve been at home with no friends and no one to talk to, start looking for somewhere to get connected. A mom’s group, a church small group, somewhere where you can connect with other women on a regular basis. I plan on joining a mom’s group that meets at a local church, as well as getting connected in a church small group with other couples with my husband. We can’t do life alone, at least not for very long. We were made to live in community, so get out there and find yours. Look online for local Facebook groups, networking groups, on church websites, etc. Ask around to see what kinds of things other women you know are involved in. I’m sure you can find something if you look hard enough.

Pray. Pray that God would bring someone into your life to be a friend. Maybe He can use you to bring friendship into someone else’s life who needs it. Maybe it’s an old friend, or maybe it’s a new one. It could be anyone. But you can always pray that He would connect you to the right person for this season of your life.

 

You’re not alone, girlfriend. And it gets better. I promise. We’re in this hard season together and we’ll get through it together. You’re not alone.

Seasons of Change in Life and Business

Seasons of Change in Life and Business

Seasons of change at A Colorful You

Have you ever experienced a season of change, maybe a life-change, and felt the urge to make changes in your business? Or, have you experienced changes in your business and felt the urge to make changes in your life? Maybe you suddenly realize that things in your life or business are going in a different direction than you had planned and you realize you need to make some changes?

We all have seasons of change at some point in our life or business, and that’s where I’ve been at lately.

It’s not unusual for women who own their own businesses to find that their life experiences affect the way they do business. Changes in their interests over time can affect their business. For me, the life change was getting pregnant with my first child. (Oh, and it’s a girl, by the way!) And as I am journeying through this pregnancy and change in my life, I’m realizing that my business is going to shift a bit as well.

Seasons of Change in Life and Business acolorfulyou.net

My first two businesses

But, before I get into that, I want to tell you a little about myself.

 My business experience started in 2015 with my very first direct sales business. I attended a Norwex party online and fell in love with their cleaning products. It has done wonders for my husband’s allergies and our health in general and I knew that I wanted to promote the product, so I joined and started working the business alongside my teaching job.

While I still love and use and occasionally promote (but not as actively) Norwex, in 2017 my business transitioned into creating websites for women in direct sales. I had created a website for myself, mostly by figuring it out on my own, and realized I really enjoyed it and it was something I could help other women like me with. I started Melissa Mackey Brand Co and used that platform to share about web design, branding, direct sales tips, etc.

Read Branding Your Direct Sales Business: The Complete Guide

My current business

Then later that year, I was introduced to Color Street. Several of my friends had signed up with this brand new dry nail polish company right when (and some even before) it launched. I was excited to try the product and loved it, but wasn’t interested in the business opportunity at the time. Last July (2017) I agreed to host a party as I loved the product, but said “no” to the opportunity. I said “no” several times after that, but finally in September, I realized that I was wearing and promoting the product and could be earning commission and free product! So, I signed up, thinking I would do this business “on the side.” Ha!

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I can’t do something like a business half way or “on the side.” If I’m in, I’m all in. So I went all in with Color Street. But because of this, I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with the web design business. While it is possible to run two businesses at once, I knew that it wasn’t for me. I needed to focus on one at a time, especially as I was still teaching full time at this point! So I once again made a transition in my business.

Read How To Stay Motivated and Focused When Working From Home

Another season of change

And now to where I’m at now. This current blog space started with content from my previous website – my direct sales web design business. Now you’re going to see a bit more variety in the content on this website.

Since I am expecting my first child, I am making yet another transition. 

A Colorful You will become more like a lifestyle blog. The existing content on direct sales and business topics will be joined by blog posts on topics like pregnancy, parenting, and a variety of topics on working from home (like getting started, working at home with children, staying motivated, taking care of yourself when you’re busy, and keeping all the balls in the air as a working mom, for example). I’ll have some content related to direct sales and marketing, but that will not be the entire focus of my content.

My hope is that this space will become a well-rounded, informative and entertaining blog, for moms, soon-to-be moms, and those who work from home, whether they have children or not, to learn and see that they’re not alone in the things they experience and the struggles they deal with.

Have you ever dealt with seasons of change? What kind of changes did you make in your life or business? Leave me a comment and tell me about it!

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