To the Mom Who’s Lonely: You’re Not Alone

To the Mom Who’s Lonely: You’re Not Alone

I’ve been realizing lately that I’ve become lonely. Lonelier than I’ve ever been in the past. It’s not really a place I ever thought I’d be. I’ve always had friends, lots of them. All through high school, college, and my mid-twenties I was always hanging out with friends and always had someone to talk to. But I’ve realized as I’ve gotten married and entered my late twenties, early thirties, and getting close to 34, I don’t have those friends anymore. I’ve become a mom who’s lonely.

I rarely get together with friends and hang out and have fun anymore. Heck, I’m not sure I really even have friends anymore. No one to talk to outside of my husband/family, no one to do life with, laugh with, cry with, no one who “get’s” it. And it’s a lonely place to be.

This has been a hard realization for me and it’s not easy to admit and write about. But I’m trying to be more vulnerable, more open. And if I’m feeling this way, I am sure there are other women feeling lonely, too. So if that’s you, if you’re a mom who’s lonely right now, know that you’re not alone.

To the Mom Who's Lonely: You're Not Alone - acolorfulyou.net

How did I get here, to this place of loneliness?

That’s kind of hard to say. It crept up on me and I didn’t really realize it was happening until I was here. I was one of the last of my friends group to get married, and am one of the last to start a family (currently pregnant with my first). Many, if not most of my friends already have at least one kid. Most of them have multiple kids – 2, 3, or even 4 now. I think that as they got married and started their families while I was still single, it was hard to keep up the relationship and it got harder and harder to connect with them. They had other priorities, as well they should, and time to hang out with friends became scarce.

Then when I got married, I kind of felt like I was in this in-between stage, where a few of my friends were still single, and most of the others had kids. I kind of felt like I didn’t really belong anywhere, not really. It was kind of an awkward stage for me and made it hard to connect. Now that I’m finally starting a family of my own, I’m realizing that I don’t have any friends now, not really. And it’s a lonely place to be.

Read Seasons of Change in Life and Business

So what can we do about it, when we find ourselves in this lonely place?

Remind yourself that it’s a season. It’s not forever, at least it doesn’t have to be. We all go through seasons in life, and some are harder than others. I’d even guess that most people have had seasons in their life where they felt a similar loneliness. Just because we’re feeling lonely right now and don’t have friends to connect with, doesn’t mean it will always be this way. Seasons change. They come and go. This one will too.

Pick up the phone and call someone. Or text if that’s more your thing. I know that I didn’t get to this place solely because of other people, I had a part in it too. I could have picked up the phone and called or texted my girlfriends and tried harder to keep in touch. Now, I’m not saying it’s all my fault or letting myself feel guilty about it. It happens. It’s life; it is what it is. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, I can do something about it. I can call up a girlfriend and make a plan to get together.

Do something fun. Get out of the house and go do something fun. If you’re anything like me, you’re realizing that you haven’t really had fun lately. So go enjoy life again! We need to stop staying at home and feeling sorry for ourselves. There’s so much life that can be lived. When’s the last time you did something just for fun?

Get connected. If you’ve been at home with no friends and no one to talk to, start looking for somewhere to get connected. A mom’s group, a church small group, somewhere where you can connect with other women on a regular basis. I plan on joining a mom’s group that meets at a local church, as well as getting connected in a church small group with other couples with my husband. We can’t do life alone, at least not for very long. We were made to live in community, so get out there and find yours. Look online for local Facebook groups, networking groups, on church websites, etc. Ask around to see what kinds of things other women you know are involved in. I’m sure you can find something if you look hard enough.

Pray. Pray that God would bring someone into your life to be a friend. Maybe He can use you to bring friendship into someone else’s life who needs it. Maybe it’s an old friend, or maybe it’s a new one. It could be anyone. But you can always pray that He would connect you to the right person for this season of your life.

 

You’re not alone, girlfriend. And it gets better. I promise. We’re in this hard season together and we’ll get through it together. You’re not alone.

Surviving Morning Sickness: 6 Ways I Found Relief

Surviving Morning Sickness: 6 Ways I Found Relief

Morning sickness. The dreaded first trimester (usually) struggle. Why do they call it morning sickness, anyway? For me it was all.day.long. It was miserable. If you are one of the lucky women who don’t have much, if any, sickness during your first trimester, ENJOY IT! If you are one of the not-so-lucky few who deal with it all.pregnancy.long, you have my greatest sympathy. Surviving morning sickness is one of the not-so-fun things we moms do for our children. Because we love them.

The one upside, if you can call it that, to feeling sick during the first trimester, is that it is proof that there is a little tiny human growing in your belly! And that makes it all worth it.

If you are in the midst of surviving morning sickness, here are a few things that helped me find relief during my first trimester. (Along with eating/snacking small meals more frequently, eating foods high in protein, avoiding greasy or spicy food, etc).

Surviving Morning Sickness: 6 Ways I Found Relief - acolorfulyou.net

Surviving Morning Sickness: 6 Ways I Found Relief

1. Preggie Pop Drops – These things were a lifesaver for me during the first part of my pregnancy! I kept them with me at all times – in my jacket/pants pockets, my purse, my car, the bedroom, the living room, my office. Anywhere I went I made sure I had these with me. I got the ones with vitamin B6 in them, as I had heard that can help with nausea as well.

2. Ginger Ale – I lived off of ginger ale during my first trimester – so much so that I was sure I would be sick of it by the end. Surprisingly, I wasn’t! (But I have stopped drinking it since because of the sugar content, now that I am feeling much better.) Ginger Ale was about the only thing I could drink and keep down during the first couple months of being pregnant. I made sure to have some with me everywhere I went.

3. Applesauce – Everyone says to eat crackers, like saltines, when you’re feeling nauseas, especially first thing in the morning before you get out of bed. But that didn’t work for me. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t really like saltines all that much or what, but I couldn’t stomach them. But applesauce? I ate it like crazy, first thing every morning and anytime through out the day or night when I needed something quick.

I would buy the little applesauce cups and put one by my bed every night with a spoon so that I would have it first thing in the morning. And I’m STILL eating applesauce pretty much every morning right when I wake up, even though I’m no longer dealing with morning sickness. It is really nice to have something quick and readily available to put in my stomach right when I wake up each morning.

4. Peppermint – After awhile I got kind of tired of the Preggie Pop Drops. Enter peppermints. I had heard that peppermint could help with nausea, and my first trimester just happened to be right before Christmas, so candy canes were readily available! And I love candy canes anyway, so it was perfect. I also kept these babies with me everywhere – the little ones were the perfect size.

5. Ginger tea – When I wasn’t drinking ginger ale, I would drink some ginger tea. I wasn’t drinking coffee because I knew my stomach couldn’t handle it, so it was nice to be able to have a hot drink when I was missing my coffee. And a huge plus for the ginger helping to calm my stomach!

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6. Pink Stork Pregnancy Probiotic – I was taking Pink Stork’s Total Prenatal + DHA vitamin as my prenatal vitamin. When I saw that they also had a pregnancy probiotic and that it could potentially help with morning sickness and nausea, I was sold! It is nice to have something to support my gut health during my pregnancy, and even better that it helped me survive morning sickness!

What are some of your favorite ways to relieve morning sickness? Tell me in the comments – I’d love some more ideas for next time!

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