I’ve been realizing lately that I’ve become lonely. Lonelier than I’ve ever been in the past. It’s not really a place I ever thought I’d be. I’ve always had friends, lots of them. All through high school, college, and my mid-twenties I was always hanging out with friends and always had someone to talk to. But I’ve realized as I’ve gotten married and entered my late twenties, early thirties, and getting close to 34, I don’t have those friends anymore. I’ve become a mom who’s lonely.
I rarely get together with friends and hang out and have fun anymore. Heck, I’m not sure I really even have friends anymore. No one to talk to outside of my husband/family, no one to do life with, laugh with, cry with, no one who “get’s” it. And it’s a lonely place to be.
This has been a hard realization for me and it’s not easy to admit and write about. But I’m trying to be more vulnerable, more open. And if I’m feeling this way, I am sure there are other women feeling lonely, too. So if that’s you, if you’re a mom who’s lonely right now, know that you’re not alone.
How did I get here, to this place of loneliness?
That’s kind of hard to say. It crept up on me and I didn’t really realize it was happening until I was here. I was one of the last of my friends group to get married, and am one of the last to start a family (currently pregnant with my first). Many, if not most of my friends already have at least one kid. Most of them have multiple kids – 2, 3, or even 4 now. I think that as they got married and started their families while I was still single, it was hard to keep up the relationship and it got harder and harder to connect with them. They had other priorities, as well they should, and time to hang out with friends became scarce.
Then when I got married, I kind of felt like I was in this in-between stage, where a few of my friends were still single, and most of the others had kids. I kind of felt like I didn’t really belong anywhere, not really. It was kind of an awkward stage for me and made it hard to connect. Now that I’m finally starting a family of my own, I’m realizing that I don’t have any friends now, not really. And it’s a lonely place to be.
So what can we do about it, when we find ourselves in this lonely place?
Remind yourself that it’s a season. It’s not forever, at least it doesn’t have to be. We all go through seasons in life, and some are harder than others. I’d even guess that most people have had seasons in their life where they felt a similar loneliness. Just because we’re feeling lonely right now and don’t have friends to connect with, doesn’t mean it will always be this way. Seasons change. They come and go. This one will too.
Pick up the phone and call someone.Or text if that’s more your thing. I know that I didn’t get to this place solely because of other people, I had a part in it too. I could have picked up the phone and called or texted my girlfriends and tried harder to keep in touch. Now, I’m not saying it’s all my fault or letting myself feel guilty about it. It happens. It’s life; it is what it is. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, I can do something about it. I can call up a girlfriend and make a plan to get together.
Do something fun. Get out of the house and go do something fun. If you’re anything like me, you’re realizing that you haven’t really had fun lately. So go enjoy life again! We need to stop staying at home and feeling sorry for ourselves. There’s so much life that can be lived. When’s the last time you did something just for fun?
Get connected. If you’ve been at home with no friends and no one to talk to, start looking for somewhere to get connected. A mom’s group, a church small group, somewhere where you can connect with other women on a regular basis. I plan on joining a mom’s group that meets at a local church, as well as getting connected in a church small group with other couples with my husband. We can’t do life alone, at least not for very long. We were made to live in community, so get out there and find yours. Look online for local Facebook groups, networking groups, on church websites, etc. Ask around to see what kinds of things other women you know are involved in. I’m sure you can find something if you look hard enough.
Pray. Pray that God would bring someone into your life to be a friend. Maybe He can use you to bring friendship into someone else’s life who needs it. Maybe it’s an old friend, or maybe it’s a new one. It could be anyone. But you can always pray that He would connect you to the right person for this season of your life.
You’re not alone, girlfriend. And it gets better. I promise. We’re in this hard season together and we’ll get through it together. You’re not alone.
Morning sickness. The dreaded first trimester (usually) struggle. Why do they call it morning sickness, anyway? For me it was all.day.long. It was miserable. If you are one of the lucky women who don’t have much, if any, sickness during your first trimester, ENJOY IT! If you are one of the not-so-lucky few who deal with it all.pregnancy.long, you have my greatest sympathy. Surviving morning sickness is one of the not-so-fun things we moms do for our children. Because we love them.
The one upside, if you can call it that, to feeling sick during the first trimester, is that it is proof that there is a little tiny human growing in your belly! And that makes it all worth it.
If you are in the midst of surviving morning sickness, here are a few things that helped me find relief during my first trimester. (Along with eating/snacking small meals more frequently, eating foods high in protein, avoiding greasy or spicy food, etc).
Surviving Morning Sickness: 6 Ways I Found Relief
1. Preggie Pop Drops – These things were a lifesaver for me during the first part of my pregnancy! I kept them with me at all times – in my jacket/pants pockets, my purse, my car, the bedroom, the living room, my office. Anywhere I went I made sure I had these with me. I got the ones with vitamin B6 in them, as I had heard that can help with nausea as well.
2. Ginger Ale – I lived off of ginger ale during my first trimester – so much so that I was sure I would be sick of it by the end. Surprisingly, I wasn’t! (But I have stopped drinking it since because of the sugar content, now that I am feeling much better.) Ginger Ale was about the only thing I could drink and keep down during the first couple months of being pregnant. I made sure to have some with me everywhere I went.
3. Applesauce – Everyone says to eat crackers, like saltines, when you’re feeling nauseas, especially first thing in the morning before you get out of bed. But that didn’t work for me. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t really like saltines all that much or what, but I couldn’t stomach them. But applesauce? I ate it like crazy, first thing every morning and anytime through out the day or night when I needed something quick.
I would buy the little applesauce cups and put one by my bed every night with a spoon so that I would have it first thing in the morning. And I’m STILL eating applesauce pretty much every morning right when I wake up, even though I’m no longer dealing with morning sickness. It is really nice to have something quick and readily available to put in my stomach right when I wake up each morning.
4. Peppermint – After awhile I got kind of tired of the Preggie Pop Drops. Enter peppermints. I had heard that peppermint could help with nausea, and my first trimester just happened to be right before Christmas, so candy canes were readily available! And I love candy canes anyway, so it was perfect. I also kept these babies with me everywhere – the little ones were the perfect size.
5. Ginger tea – When I wasn’t drinking ginger ale, I would drink some ginger tea. I wasn’t drinking coffee because I knew my stomach couldn’t handle it, so it was nice to be able to have a hot drink when I was missing my coffee. And a huge plus for the ginger helping to calm my stomach!
6. Pink Stork Pregnancy Probiotic – I was taking Pink Stork’s Total Prenatal + DHA vitamin as my prenatal vitamin. When I saw that they also had a pregnancy probiotic and that it could potentially help with morning sickness and nausea, I was sold! It is nice to have something to support my gut health during my pregnancy, and even better that it helped me survive morning sickness!
What are some of your favorite ways to relieve morning sickness? Tell me in the comments – I’d love some more ideas for next time!
Have you ever experienced a season of change, maybe a life-change, and felt the urge to make changes in your business? Or, have you experienced changes in your business and felt the urge to make changes in your life? Maybe you suddenly realize that things in your life or business are going in a different direction than you had planned and you realize you need to make some changes?
We all have seasons of change at some point in our life or business, and that’s where I’ve been at lately.
It’s not unusual for women who own their own businesses to find that their life experiences affect the way they do business. Changes in their interests over time can affect their business. For me, the life change was getting pregnant with my first child. (Oh, and it’s a girl, by the way!) And as I am journeying through this pregnancy and change in my life, I’m realizing that my business is going to shift a bit as well.
My first two businesses
But, before I get into that, I want to tell you a little about myself. My business experience started in 2015 with my very first direct sales business. I attended a Norwex party online and fell in love with their cleaning products. It has done wonders for my husband’s allergies and our health in general and I knew that I wanted to promote the product, so I joined and started working the business alongside my teaching job.
While I still love and use and occasionally promote (but not as actively) Norwex, in 2017 my business transitioned into creating websites for women in direct sales. I had created a website for myself, mostly by figuring it out on my own, and realized I really enjoyed it and it was something I could help other women like me with. I started Melissa Mackey Brand Co and used that platform to share about web design, branding, direct sales tips, etc.
Then later that year, I was introduced to Color Street. Several of my friends had signed up with this brand new dry nail polish company right when (and some even before) it launched. I was excited to try the product and loved it, but wasn’t interested in the business opportunity at the time. Last July (2017) I agreed to host a party as I loved the product, but said “no” to the opportunity. I said “no” several times after that, but finally in September, I realized that I was wearing and promoting the product and could be earning commission and free product! So, I signed up, thinking I would do this business “on the side.” Ha!
Anyone who knows me very well knows that I can’t do something like a business half way or “on the side.” If I’m in, I’m all in. So I went all in with Color Street. But because of this, I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with the web design business. While it is possible to run two businesses at once, I knew that it wasn’t for me. I needed to focus on one at a time, especially as I was still teaching full time at this point! So I once again made a transition in my business.
And now to where I’m at now. This current blog space started with content from my previous website – my direct sales web design business. Now you’re going to see a bit more variety in the content on this website.
Since I am expecting my first child, I am making yet another transition. A Colorful You will become more like a lifestyle blog. The existing content on direct sales and business topics will be joined by blog posts on topics like pregnancy, parenting, and a variety of topics on working from home (like getting started, working at home with children, staying motivated, taking care of yourself when you’re busy, and keeping all the balls in the air as a working mom, for example). I’ll have some content related to direct sales and marketing, but that will not be the entire focus of my content.
My hope is that this space will become a well-rounded, informative and entertaining blog, for moms, soon-to-be moms, and those who work from home, whether they have children or not, to learn and see that they’re not alone in the things they experience and the struggles they deal with.
Have you ever dealt with seasons of change? What kind of changes did you make in your life or business? Leave me a comment and tell me about it!
Every year I choose a word of the year. It is a word that I want to focus on for the upcoming year. I do this instead of making new year’s resolutions. For 2017 my word was Growth and for 2018 my word was Freedom. These words ended up fitting their respective years perfectly.
A look at the past
2017 was a year of growth for me, especially business wise. In 2017, I finished out my first year of teaching special ed instead of pre-k; I started a new web design business and learned a lot from it; I started a new direct sales business which took off and grew like crazy; and overall had a year of change and growth.
Freedom was a perfect fit for 2018. My new direct sales business gave me the freedom to be able to quit my teaching job and work from home. And what a blessing that has been! I am not sure how I would have managed to get through my first trimester with pretty bad morning sickness while teaching full time. It was definitely the freedom I needed.
I also was able to take my husband on a really nice vacation to Jamaica using money I made from my business. It was amazing to be able to have the freedom to go on that vacation without worrying about the cost!
My 2019 Word of the Year and why I chose it
And this year. My 2019 word of the year. This year my word is Discipline.
This year I am choosing the word discipline because it’s something I desperately need more of in all areas of my life. I am often not a very disciplined person, maybe even more so now that I am working from home and at home all day with the freedom to do what I want.
My home life needs more discipline: taking care of the laundry regularly instead of waiting for it to pile up and we’re running out of underwear (someone tell me I’m not the only one who does this); doing the dishes every day instead of letting them sit in the sink for days; cleaning the bathrooms before the get disgusting; and generally keeping up with housework and doing what I know needs to be done around the house, even though I don’t always want to do it. It takes discipline.
My business life also needs more discipline: sending hostess packets to my hosts each month and keeping up with mailings in a timely manner; hostess coaching and partnering with my hosts; chatting with those interested about the business opportunity instead of making excuses; writing the blog posts that I say I’m going to write; keeping up with my social media posts since I am running an online business; cleaning my office and keeping it organized instead of letting it get messier and messier; and actually doing the work that I know I need to do to run my business instead of wasting so much time scrolling Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest. It takes discipline.
In just a few months (June) I am due with my first baby. I don’t want him/her (we should find out soon!) to grow up and learn to be lazy and undisciplined like me. It is important to me that I set a good example for my child. I want to be able to create routines and have the schedule that my baby needs. It will take discipline. I know that I need to work on this NOW and not wait another moment.
2019 is my year of discipline. What about you? What is your word for the year? Why did you choose it? Tell me in a comment below!
I’m Melissa Mackey, a leader with Color Street and a new lifestyle/mom blogger. A former special ed teacher turned work from home mama who loves coffee, wine, Mexican food, donuts, horses, and Jesus. Passionate about helping women like you feel just a bit more put together without taking much time out of your day – dry nail polish for the win! Sharing my about my pregnancy and journey to becoming a new mom while working my business. Come alongside me in my journey through womanhood and life. Even though it’s messy at times. Let’s be our beautiful selves together.